My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
