All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
