I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
