i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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