Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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