just tell him i said nine months
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
