I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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