just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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