I think I died a long time ago.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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