Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize