She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
