Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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