I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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