Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my phone needs a breathalizer
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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