I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
