hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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