bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
