There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
