I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
