Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
