Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
