Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
