Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
