What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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