need another drink. this is the easiest way
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
