Small penises have feelings too.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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