she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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