White coat. Heels.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
