im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
