I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
