Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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