I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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