everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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