at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
