erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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