I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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