All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
