so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
