I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
