Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
