I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
