Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
