I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
