We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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