If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
