Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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