The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize