She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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