Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
