tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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