Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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