I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
