More tranny stories later!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
