i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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