I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
