At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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