this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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