Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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