Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize