so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
only you would photoshop your dick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
