No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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