We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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