Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
