i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
