i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
