At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
